Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I'm suing because I'm fat
I had dinner at McDonald's tonight. They didn't have any super sized fries for me. That made me think of that documentary Super Size Me. That made me think that fat people who sue McDonald's suck. That made me think I need to figure out some ways to sue some people.
Option A: I'm going to sue Hewlett Packard because I don't have 20/20 vision. I blame it on them because they made the computer screen that I'm staring at right now. I heard somewhere that it's not good to start at computer screens, yet I keep doing it. It's like an addiction or something. I could just get a life and stop doing the thing that's causing me harm, but using the McDonalds's example I can blame the advertising. They're targeting me. They want me to buy their computers.
Option B: I'm going to sue the bar where I drink. They sell alcoholic beverages that get me drunk. There's got to be all kinds of stupid things I've done while drunk that I can sue for. Yeah, that's a good idea. And in the long run I'm going to get a beer belly. Think about it. Beer = cheeseburger, ergo bar = McDonald's. Either way, Brian = Fat.
Option C: I'm going to sue any high school teacher that said going to college was going to be a great investment. Six years of schooling, thousands of dollars in debt, and I still have a job that any kid still in high school can get. Those teachers should have warned me about the whole going to school for some sort of purpose. Poor kids like me need to get degrees that somehow translate into a job. Yeah, okay, I'm still bitter about that. Sue me.
Option A: I'm going to sue Hewlett Packard because I don't have 20/20 vision. I blame it on them because they made the computer screen that I'm staring at right now. I heard somewhere that it's not good to start at computer screens, yet I keep doing it. It's like an addiction or something. I could just get a life and stop doing the thing that's causing me harm, but using the McDonalds's example I can blame the advertising. They're targeting me. They want me to buy their computers.
Option B: I'm going to sue the bar where I drink. They sell alcoholic beverages that get me drunk. There's got to be all kinds of stupid things I've done while drunk that I can sue for. Yeah, that's a good idea. And in the long run I'm going to get a beer belly. Think about it. Beer = cheeseburger, ergo bar = McDonald's. Either way, Brian = Fat.
Option C: I'm going to sue any high school teacher that said going to college was going to be a great investment. Six years of schooling, thousands of dollars in debt, and I still have a job that any kid still in high school can get. Those teachers should have warned me about the whole going to school for some sort of purpose. Poor kids like me need to get degrees that somehow translate into a job. Yeah, okay, I'm still bitter about that. Sue me.
