Wednesday, June 16, 2004
new releases come out on tuesday
Well, I got a job today. You are looking at a guest service representative for Hollywood Video. The pay sucks, but how can I complain when I'm unemployed? It should be a fun job. I've always wanted to work at a video store. So now I can cross that off of my list. Some other jobs I've always wanted to do:
Work at a pizza place. Mmmmmm, pizza. When I was younger, my big brother worked at Little Caesar's and I just thought that he had the coolest job. All he had to do all day was make pizza. And eat it. He would bring home pizza and crazy bread from time to time. How could that not be a great job?
Work at a zoo. Ok, well some people classify their work areas as zoos, but I'm talking an actual zoo with giraffes and stuff. What could be more fun than feeding elephants? I guess I would have to shovel large piles of dung, but hey it's the zoo. I would feel at one with nature. You get to work with wild animals, living in their natural habitat inside a cage. Cool stuff.
The guy who wipes up sweat at basketball games. (By the way, it's awesome that Detroit won) You know who I'm talking about. The guy that comes onto the floor with his mop or towel after a bunch of basketball players roll around on the ground. You get a courtside seat and you get to meet all the great basketball players. Get up close anyway. Then after the game you can sell the used towel on Ebay: Towel with Kobe Bryant sweat, among others - $500. Sounds good, no?
Museum tour guide. "And here on your left, kids, is the Hoobastankasaurus. He lived over 10,000,000 years ago. Now while he looks ferocious and intimidating, this sweet guy was actually a plant eater. Notice the big flat teeth for grinding leaves and foilage." Ooh, ahhh!
Video game tester. Every kid knows about this job. Somewhere out there is a guy that will pay you money to sit around and play video games all day. What kid growing up in the Nintendo age doesn't want that job?
Dolphin trainer. "What's that, Flipper? Timmy is stuck in a well?" I went to Sea World one time when I was a kid. I thought it was cool that there were these people that got to swim around with the dolphins all day and feed them and stuff.
Superhero Sidekick. Okay, so most kids want to be the actual superhero. Yeah, I had my own Superman costume. But I was also a realist. I couldn't fly. I didn't have telepathic powers. I didn't even have money to buy a utility belt. But okay, I could be the guy that hung out with the superhero. Holy traveshamockery, Batman!
Work at a pizza place. Mmmmmm, pizza. When I was younger, my big brother worked at Little Caesar's and I just thought that he had the coolest job. All he had to do all day was make pizza. And eat it. He would bring home pizza and crazy bread from time to time. How could that not be a great job?
Work at a zoo. Ok, well some people classify their work areas as zoos, but I'm talking an actual zoo with giraffes and stuff. What could be more fun than feeding elephants? I guess I would have to shovel large piles of dung, but hey it's the zoo. I would feel at one with nature. You get to work with wild animals, living in their natural habitat inside a cage. Cool stuff.
The guy who wipes up sweat at basketball games. (By the way, it's awesome that Detroit won) You know who I'm talking about. The guy that comes onto the floor with his mop or towel after a bunch of basketball players roll around on the ground. You get a courtside seat and you get to meet all the great basketball players. Get up close anyway. Then after the game you can sell the used towel on Ebay: Towel with Kobe Bryant sweat, among others - $500. Sounds good, no?
Museum tour guide. "And here on your left, kids, is the Hoobastankasaurus. He lived over 10,000,000 years ago. Now while he looks ferocious and intimidating, this sweet guy was actually a plant eater. Notice the big flat teeth for grinding leaves and foilage." Ooh, ahhh!
Video game tester. Every kid knows about this job. Somewhere out there is a guy that will pay you money to sit around and play video games all day. What kid growing up in the Nintendo age doesn't want that job?
Dolphin trainer. "What's that, Flipper? Timmy is stuck in a well?" I went to Sea World one time when I was a kid. I thought it was cool that there were these people that got to swim around with the dolphins all day and feed them and stuff.
Superhero Sidekick. Okay, so most kids want to be the actual superhero. Yeah, I had my own Superman costume. But I was also a realist. I couldn't fly. I didn't have telepathic powers. I didn't even have money to buy a utility belt. But okay, I could be the guy that hung out with the superhero. Holy traveshamockery, Batman!
