Monday, October 03, 2005
The Answer Man
I am a lead supervisor at my place of business. The other supervisors and employees come to me when they have questions or need help with stuff. Half the time I don't really know what I'm doing, but my coworkers would say I am deserving of the post. My secrets:
-Always pretend like you know what you are talking about. There are a number of ways to answer a question when you don't know the answer. Make something up, but say it confidently, so they think you are right. Use big words and technical jargon that they don't understand and look at them like you think they should. Answer their question with a totally unrelated question. Scowl at them and make them feel bad for asking you a question. Roll your eyes and tell them that they should already know the answer to that question.
-Know how to deal with management. Smile and nod your head when they talk to you. Use phrases like, "I've already started that," then run and go start doing whatever it was. Tell them their ideas are great. Dress like them (not recommended if your boss is not the same gender as you). Copy their mannerisms when they are watching you. Always look like you are doing something important.
-While you're at your computer: Stare at the screen intently as if you are digesting important information. Keep you hands on the keyboard and lightly tap on the keys so it sounds like you are typing something.
-Let out an exasperated sigh every once in a while to make it seem like you've been working too hard and need a break.
-Ask for a raise and the day off then sit here and write on your blog.
-Always pretend like you know what you are talking about. There are a number of ways to answer a question when you don't know the answer. Make something up, but say it confidently, so they think you are right. Use big words and technical jargon that they don't understand and look at them like you think they should. Answer their question with a totally unrelated question. Scowl at them and make them feel bad for asking you a question. Roll your eyes and tell them that they should already know the answer to that question.
-Know how to deal with management. Smile and nod your head when they talk to you. Use phrases like, "I've already started that," then run and go start doing whatever it was. Tell them their ideas are great. Dress like them (not recommended if your boss is not the same gender as you). Copy their mannerisms when they are watching you. Always look like you are doing something important.
-While you're at your computer: Stare at the screen intently as if you are digesting important information. Keep you hands on the keyboard and lightly tap on the keys so it sounds like you are typing something.
-Let out an exasperated sigh every once in a while to make it seem like you've been working too hard and need a break.
-Ask for a raise and the day off then sit here and write on your blog.
