Sunday, November 25, 2007

The World Revolves Around Me

Hello! How many times do I have to keep reminding everyone? I'm the most important thing in your life right now. Forget school. Forget work. Forget boyfriends. It's all about me. Some of you out there need to re-tune the Brianness in your life.

I've decided I need a girlfriend. No more of this being "the other guy" or "the friend with benefits." I'm ready to devote some quality time and do stuff like bowling or going out for ice cream.... At least until the New Year.

Right now is convenient relationship time. I've got Christmas parties to go to and gifts to receive. And I need someone to make out with on New Year's eve.

So I am again taking applications for the position of Super Hot Girlfriend. I'm looking to fill the position immediately. Must live in the Albany/Corvallis area and be super hot. Must be at least 21 so that you can come see Supersuckers and Top Heavy Crush with me. Women over 47 must provide sugar mama certification.

I'll be here waiting for you.

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