Brian Alone

It's one of those nights, up all night contemplating greatness and such. The last 4 or 5 hours of my life have been a blur. I feel the need to drink tea and talk to someone. But alas, I have no tea and no someone.

I found a long lost friend today. Not that she was lost by any means, just absent from my life. Have you ever been in that situation where you run into someone you haven't seen in a while? So you make niceties and catch up. But then what? Awkward silence perhaps. Maybe you all weren't that great of friends, just great memories.

Is the desert really that bad? Man has adapted, irrigation, airconditioning. Deserts aren't quite the barren wastelands they once were. Especially with growing populations all over. Look at Las Vegas and Phoenix. Sunshine all the time is not such a bad idea. But the deserts miss the rain. According to the song anyway.

I ate some carrots today. You know, those little baby carrots? Yeah, good stuff. Now are they grown as small carrots or were they once big carrots? Or are they an amalgamation of carrot waste? Jill and I decided that the carrots are grown small.

Ever meet someone at the wrong time? I guess this question generally implies a meeting with someone of the opposite sex. What would have happened if you met this person 5 years ago or 5 years from now? Something clicks, but the current circumstances don't allow you to build upon that.

Aren't you glad that you don't always get what you wish for? Sure, the instant gratification would be idyllic, and it would work for some things, but it would ruin your future encounters. Like that song "Unanswered Prayers".

Having regrets is no way to live your life. I'm not saying that I make the best decisions all the time or even that you shouldn't have second thoughts. The point is not to dwell on something that can't be changed. Why waste the tears? Learn from it and improve your situation in other ways.

I do believe that you can do anything that you put your mind to. I was spoonfed that sort of BS throughout my childhood. You can't stop something that is inside of you. I just never made any lofty goals.

I'm happy where I am, but it kind of seems like I should do something different. As much as you want to stay the same, the world is going to change around you. You can't stop that from happening. So you have to roll with the punches. Move on and think fondly of the good ol' days.

I tend to spend more time looking back than I do looking forward. Perhaps it's why I majored in History. I enjoy my memories. They make me smile. The future is hard to think about. I've never been one good at planning. I like to go with the flow.

So am I destined to end up some place? Is life happening to me because of my lack of effort to make something happen in my life? Should I be more active? Do you have a desiny or does life just happen randomly? Does it matter?

Am I ever going to catch those mice that keep running around in my kitchen? Those furry little buggers. I can hear them at night scratching behind the walls. What are they doing?

Is the sun going to rise tomorrow? Are you sure? Sometimes it's cloudy. You may see grey clouds, but they are white on the other side.

I don't like flying. It was tough growing up as an Air Force brat. I got sick going to Turkey. I was very happy to step off that plane on to some solid ground. It was a good thing that happened to me.

I have a bit of trouble keeping up with old friends. I tend to do it in spurts. Sometimes I'm just really motivated to send emails or make phone calls.

That reminds me that I should call my brother today. I think he misses me. Or something.

It's time for bed now.