Thursday, September 08, 2005
Who needs math when we have Asians that can do it for us?
How are we going to teach kids to read good when they can't even fit inside the building? It has to be at least three times bigger than this!
I guess the United States is notorious for being bad at math, but here's my experience with it. I bought some pizza the other day and I tried to pay the delivery guy with a fifty. My order was about $26. The guy was trying to give me almost forty dollars in change. Me, being the honest guy that I am, told him he took too long getting there and if my pizza was cold I'd stab him with my pen. But thus is life. He didn't have a cash register to tell him how much change to make.
Did you know that 73% of statistics are made up on the spot? 69% of people are just amazed you used a number bigger than 10 and that funny sign with the two circles. Five out of four people don't even understand how it all works.
My boss is taking a 100 level business class at school this semester. She just took her first test in the class and was telling me about how a bunch of kids failed it. I can't remember any of the specific questions, but it was very basic business things like, what is it called when two similar companies sell products in the same market? Competition. Things like that. This is why a degree from Generic State University isn't worth as much as a degree from Elite Private University. At an Ivy League type school you actually have to be able to put together a sentence (or spell your name, but in that case it's already on one of their buildings).
College was very easy for me. I can actually put together sentences to make paragraphs. I think some of my professors were just impressed that my papers weren't one long run on sentence with no punctuation that just kept going and going and really didn't have any end, but the person who wrote it thought they looked smart because every so often they would use a comma and that just made their, whole paper, sound so, smart and so they would just keep writing with no main idea or even any kind of structure except that every once in a while
they would indent to make it look like it was more than just the run on sentence that it really was but what they did not know was that really all the indents and commas, made them look kind of dumb the professor really did not give a crap anyway so they got a C and eventually they earned enough Cs to finally graduate from their college and that just made them feel so smart so that when they went out into the world they had all this ambition and whatnot but they didn't really know jack.
And the worse part? They still get a job over me, because I just picked the wrong subject in which to get a degree. You know who you are.
The one thing that I do have going for me? I'm half Asian. That means that 86% of the time I can do math good.
I guess the United States is notorious for being bad at math, but here's my experience with it. I bought some pizza the other day and I tried to pay the delivery guy with a fifty. My order was about $26. The guy was trying to give me almost forty dollars in change. Me, being the honest guy that I am, told him he took too long getting there and if my pizza was cold I'd stab him with my pen. But thus is life. He didn't have a cash register to tell him how much change to make.
Did you know that 73% of statistics are made up on the spot? 69% of people are just amazed you used a number bigger than 10 and that funny sign with the two circles. Five out of four people don't even understand how it all works.
My boss is taking a 100 level business class at school this semester. She just took her first test in the class and was telling me about how a bunch of kids failed it. I can't remember any of the specific questions, but it was very basic business things like, what is it called when two similar companies sell products in the same market? Competition. Things like that. This is why a degree from Generic State University isn't worth as much as a degree from Elite Private University. At an Ivy League type school you actually have to be able to put together a sentence (or spell your name, but in that case it's already on one of their buildings).
College was very easy for me. I can actually put together sentences to make paragraphs. I think some of my professors were just impressed that my papers weren't one long run on sentence with no punctuation that just kept going and going and really didn't have any end, but the person who wrote it thought they looked smart because every so often they would use a comma and that just made their, whole paper, sound so, smart and so they would just keep writing with no main idea or even any kind of structure except that every once in a while
they would indent to make it look like it was more than just the run on sentence that it really was but what they did not know was that really all the indents and commas, made them look kind of dumb the professor really did not give a crap anyway so they got a C and eventually they earned enough Cs to finally graduate from their college and that just made them feel so smart so that when they went out into the world they had all this ambition and whatnot but they didn't really know jack.
And the worse part? They still get a job over me, because I just picked the wrong subject in which to get a degree. You know who you are.
The one thing that I do have going for me? I'm half Asian. That means that 86% of the time I can do math good.
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Mandy, look! Over there! Behind you! It's the point. Oh no, too late. You missed it. But how about we work on spelng while we're here?
Stories are good. I like stories. Asians are good. I like Asians. Except people from Tibet. They stole my shoes once.
You're pefect to me, Mandy. And yes, Kaz, I'm half Filipino. And Andy, I'm glad you don't judge the whole Asian race by your experience with those dirty rotten Tibetans.
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