Brian Alone

Oh sure, he pretends like he is... "Hey Bri, let's have a good time tonight." Or "Let's sing the pina colada song." Or "Come on dude, if the mini-pitcher is not at least half way full of rum, you're really just drinking coke."

I have only on two occasions woken up after a night of drinking and still been sick. The first was the day me and Captain Morgan broke up. The last was yesterday. I spent most of the day in bed... that is when I wasn't hovering over the toilet. All thanks to a couple of mini-pitchers of rum and coke.

I'm never drinking again!

I slide down my banister on Friday night. I have splinters. We will not discuss where.

Try to guess which of the Ultimate 11 Most Annoying Bar People I was like on Friday night.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but tell me if this sounds familiar. I hang out at a bar owned by a guy that's not from this country. This bar features karaoke 5 nights a week and 2 for 1 wells during Happy Hour. I dated a tall blond waitress from this bar who lives in an apartment with another girl who works at this bar and they have an annoying little dog. They like to drink a lot and watch movies. I hang out at this bar with a cute bartender who likes to play pool. One of the people I hang out at this bar with is an older guy who is divorced, has a couple of kids that just graduated high school, and he works construction. All I need to find is a racist Republican bastard who loves Elvis and hangs out with a rich playboy who likes to spend money.

I went to the bar the other day with a broom. I set it down on the bar stool next to me. During the course of the night, someone stole my broom. And I know what you are thinking... Why did someone steal my broom? I have no idea.

Next week I intend to go to the bar with a boom box.

Milk + Frangelico = Mangelico

I was able to get out of bed yesterday in time to catch O.A.R. in Portland. There was a lot less jumping around involved this time around, but mission accomplished. My life is complete, again.

I went to Buffalo Wild Wings today (and did not drink!) and caught the end of the Oregon State game. Go Beavers! It was pretty crazy in there. The entire bar was cheering every strike. And they were breaking out in their OSU chants. Beavers prevail. Party tonight in Corvallis! Rum is probably already there. Ruining someone else's life.