Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Do You Want Fries with That?
Today I called Comcast to cancel my cable TV service. The guy asked me why, so I said that it cost too much (the price had doubled after my introductory period) and I don't really watch a lot of TV. His reply? He told me about a special promotional package where I would get more channels, including one of the premium channels like HBO or Showtime. He even went into detail, telling me all about his favorite Showtime shows like Calfornication and Dexter. And it would only cost me $3 more than I was already paying for my starter package. I know it's his job to tell me I can supersize my combo meal for 39 cents more, but what part of "it cost too much" and "I don't watch much TV" did he not understand? Charging me more and adding MTV2 to the pot doesn't exactly sweeten it.
Speaking of supersizing, I'm really sad that I no longer have the option to supersize my combo meal at McDonald's. And why? Because people are fat? I don't exercise and I choose to eat big greasy meals and wash them down with Coke (Diet Coke, that is). Is this my fault? Nope, it's McDonald's fault. I don't know how to eat well. When I was in school there were only 4 food groups. Now there's a whole pyramid of food groups. The people who think like this are probably the ones that order the cable package upgrade with MTV2. They're sitting at home right now munching on their triple bypass burgers and watching Celebrity Death Match.
When I was at ISU, the McDonald's across the street sold buckets of fries. You could get four cheeseburgers and a bucket of fries for like $3.99. It was advertised as some sort of family deal, but 4 little cheeseburgers? You know Fattie McGee was ordering 3 of these everyday and he doesn't have a family... probably because he's so grotesquely fat and repulsive with fry grease dripping off his chin and cheeseburger bun crumbs scattered over the front of his shirt. But he can sue McDonald's, because he suffers from depression, the underlying cause of which is McDonald's making him fat.
Anyway, the point is I don't need cable TV. But I do need a bucket of French fries.
Speaking of supersizing, I'm really sad that I no longer have the option to supersize my combo meal at McDonald's. And why? Because people are fat? I don't exercise and I choose to eat big greasy meals and wash them down with Coke (Diet Coke, that is). Is this my fault? Nope, it's McDonald's fault. I don't know how to eat well. When I was in school there were only 4 food groups. Now there's a whole pyramid of food groups. The people who think like this are probably the ones that order the cable package upgrade with MTV2. They're sitting at home right now munching on their triple bypass burgers and watching Celebrity Death Match.
When I was at ISU, the McDonald's across the street sold buckets of fries. You could get four cheeseburgers and a bucket of fries for like $3.99. It was advertised as some sort of family deal, but 4 little cheeseburgers? You know Fattie McGee was ordering 3 of these everyday and he doesn't have a family... probably because he's so grotesquely fat and repulsive with fry grease dripping off his chin and cheeseburger bun crumbs scattered over the front of his shirt. But he can sue McDonald's, because he suffers from depression, the underlying cause of which is McDonald's making him fat.
Anyway, the point is I don't need cable TV. But I do need a bucket of French fries.
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I call my cable company once a year to say that my cable bill is too high and they give me the promotional price for 12 months. Saves me about 28 dollars a month. Everybody should demand lower prices for cable. We have to have cable for hockey, football, 24, and all those reality shows I'm addicted to like deadliest catch and what not to wear. I'm only a McDonalds fan for breakfast.
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